The Power of Self-Compassion
Are you your own harshest critic? Do you find yourself constantly striving for perfection, even when it feels like you're barely keeping up with your personal expectations?
If you're nodding along, you're not alone. Many university students face immense pressure to do it all. From trying to achieve high academic standards, while trying to take on active roles in extracurricular activities. Trying to manage these high expectations, can most definitely put a strain on our emotional well-being. Coming from undergraduate students, we can honestly say that university can be a rewarding experience, but it can also be a time when we experience a great deal of self-doubt and intense stress.
Amidst the whirlwind of lectures, assignments, and social engagements, it's easy to lose sight of our own well-being. We've been there, pushing ourselves to the limit without pausing to ask if we're okay. What we've come to realize is that self-compassion isn't a luxury; it's a necessity for our mental and emotional health.
Throughout this blog post, we will delve deeper into the concept of self-compassion, explore its numerous benefits, and provide you with actionable tips on how to cultivate it in your own life. Our hope is that by the end of this post, you'll be equipped with the knowledge to embrace self-compassion as an essential tool to utilize throughout your university experience, one that can lead to not only academic success but also a happier, more fulfilling life.
The Perfectionism Trap
We’ve all probably had those moments in our life when we felt this need to be “perfect”. We end up setting unrealistic high goals for ourselves and beat ourselves up when we inevitably fall short. But what if we told you that there's a better way to navigate the challenges of university life?
What is Self-Compassion?
Some of us may or may not know what self-compassion is or who coined the term “self-compassion”. We initially came across self-compassion simply by reading research articles by Dr. Kristin Neff. Self-compassion is simply compassion directed inward. To be self-compassionate involves acknowledging your mistakes, challenges, shortcomings without judgement and respond with self-care and empathy (Neff, 2023).
Three Elements of self-compassion:
According to Dr. Neff there are three important elements of self-compassion (Neff, 2020):
1. Self-kindness
This involves treating yourself with the same warmth, care, and understanding that you would offer to a close friend. It means being gentle and forgiving toward yourself, especially in times of failure or when facing personal shortcomings.
When we practice self-kindness, we adopt a supportive and empathetic attitude towards ourselves.
2. Common Humility
This involves recognizing that you are not alone in your struggles, understanding that imperfection, challenges, and difficulties are universal human experiences.
Instead of isolating yourself when facing problems, you acknowledge that others also face similar difficulties.
3. Mindfulness
Involves being fully aware and present in the moment, without being overly critical or avoiding your thoughts and feelings.
It's about paying attention to what you're going through with an open and non-judgmental mindset.
The Benefits of Self-Compassion
So why should we all embrace self-compassion? Here are some compelling benefits.
Improved mental health:
Higher levels of self-compassion is linked to increased feelings of happiness, and optimism (Neff, 2009).
Among a student population, self-compassion was associated with increased well-being and reduced distress, including stress, negative affect, burnout, and depression (Fong & Loi, 2016).
How we practice self-compassion
There are numerous ways to practice self-compassion in your daily life. From guided practices to simple exercises, you can perform independently, we can honestly admit that making self-compassion a habit can definitely be a beneficial wellness practice. One of our most favorite self-compassion techniques is the "self-compassion break." This quick exercise can be done almost anywhere, and it's a game-changer when you need a boost of self-kindness. Whenever we find ourselves caught in self-criticism or overwhelming stress, we take a moment to pause. We then acknowledge our feelings, reminding ourselves that it's okay to struggle or make mistakes, after all, we're only human. Next, we offer ourselves words of comfort and reassurance, just as we would to a dear friend in a similar situation. This simple yet powerful practice instantly helps us regain perspective and ease the weight of self-judgment. It's remarkable how a few moments of self-compassion can shift our mindset and improve our overall well-being.
If you are interested in trying self-compassion practice a try, we suggest you learn more by checking out Dr. Kristen Neff’s website called; self-compassion.org. Not only does she offer a wide range of practices and tips to consider while engaging in a self-compassion practice session.
Final Thoughts
As we wrap up, yet another blog post we wanted to leave you with one final thought. Self-compassion is a fundamental act of self-care and kindness that can significantly enhance your well-being. As twins who have walked this path together, we can attest to the positive impact it has had on our lives. So, as you embark on your own journey towards self-compassion, remember that it's a practice worth cultivating, a gift you can give yourself every day, and a reminder that you are deserving of kindness and understanding.
References:
Fong, M., & Loi, N. M. (2016). The Mediating role of self-compassion in student psychological Health. Australian Psychologist, 51(6), 431–441. https://doi.org/10.1111/ap.12185
Neff, K. (2020, July 9). Definition of Self-Compassion. Self-Compassion. Retrieved Sept 23, 2023, from https://self-compassion.org/the-three-elements-of-self-compassion-2/
Neff, K. D. (2023). Self-Compassion: Theory, Method, Research, and Intervention. Annual Review of Psychology, 74(1), 193–218. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev-psych-032420-031047
Neff K. D. (2009). The Role of Self-Compassion in Development: A Healthier Way to Relate to Oneself. Human development, 52(4), 211–214. https://doi.org/10.1159/000215071
